Am i a good mommy ? : unwanted advice ( part 1)

i would say that i had a very bad pantang lepas beranak + menjaga anak at age of 1 month old.
it was bad until i feel like a loser and frankly i did cried most of the time. i felt lonely and i dont think anyone could understand me during those days.not even reza.

if you know meroyan,i would say.. me almost be at the level of meroyan. and the gila part is not only for me, also to my mom who was so stressed when comes to unwanted advice.see!! mak pun kena jaga aku masa dlm pantang. kesian dia. dah le tak pernah jaga budak..i know it was tiring for her.. but she managed to advise and guide me from time to time..until NOW.

ceritanye begini...
Anna Sofea used to cry .. A LOT i tell you. sharp 12am she will open her cute and beautiful eyes and jerit jerit nangis sampai semua urat keluar kat muka. obviously SHE WAS A NOT A HAPPY BABY?! So tell me.. surely you will be at the same shoes bila your child nangis tak stop for 2 to 3 hours...we tend to panic and stress.but calmly my mom said,' jgn risau, budak dalam pantang mmg macam ni..'.she always at the positive side.
so i shut my mouth and say nothing.

Again,the same perangai when comes to petang or senja. Well, ini kita sedia maklum lah.. around maghrib tu apa yang ada disekeliling.. kan?! so again ' jgn riso,budak boleh nampak semua benda yang kita tak nampak..'. ok,i calmed myself as my mom always be there for me.

speaking london,i only sleep for 2 hours/day during my 1 month pantang. WHY? my daugther didn't want to sleep, and also she cried most of the time. confirm lah pelik sbb baby nangis sepanjang masa.. yer tak? sangat stress bila your hubby keep on saying ' baby yang tak tido cukup,akan rosak pembesarannya..mak kata (my MIL) mama kena buat dia tido! ' -> this is everyday. and ada yang cakap ' jangan bagi nangis banyak sangat, nanti kena sawan nangis..'.well!? aku nie dahlah tak makan, tak tido.. yet sengkang mata dok le do what ever best to my baby. still tak jalan.. minyak dah sapu.. gripe water dah bagi.. what else could be wrong?! STILL,no one could help me. still my mom and myself told ourselves.. be calm.. she will be OK ..ONE DAY. ....

but all positive thinking kami musnah when people who know on Anna's condition,came to our house and advised this and that.not that we are not welcoming any visits, bcoz sadly we would see 20% is the good tips and another 80% are those UNWANTED ADVICE and even UNWANTED QUESTIONS MARK.. seperti Kenapa dia nangis? Kenapa x pujuk?Kenapa tak bedung kuat?Susu basi kot sbb tu dia nangis and so on..and sedih part u get this from people who is really closed to you.. u know who lah kan.

So me as a mother,dengan keadaan 100% sedar.. give warning directly to hubby and who ever come to visit us ( to the person yang dok suka complaineach time nak datang tgk Anna lah kan ).'Nak tengok boleh. .mulut tutup.Kalau datang nak jaga,ok lah.But kalau nak start to compare anak si anu baik and tak nangis2.. or cakap my daugther kena sampuk hantu.. BETTER BACK OFF!' and tell me if im a good mother?

erti kata lain,aku buat tak tahu and ignore! and if orang tanya serik nak ada beranak? i will say NO.it is fun instead. yang tak fun bila ada unwanted advice ajer.

fyi- Bukan sbb susu basi or kembung tak habis buat Anna nangis. semua berpunca sbb dia tak boleh terima susu cair.. even breastmilk.dia jenis yang active and needs food rather than plain milk.so as her personal paed advised ,we give her special formula milk (which add rice ) and alhamdulillah,she is doing fine and grow as a normal baby.
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so today 15 aug 2008,sbb ada masa sikit.. seperti biasa.. http://www.babycenter.com/ really help to build my confidence level of being mommy and of coz,lama2 hilang sikit sakit hati kat orang2 tertentu.hehehe

p/s:plz dont tell me by saying.. alah diaorng yg nasihat tu kesian.. orang tua.. blah blah blah.. STOP it! mmg lah aku tak layan.aku benci ok esp to those yang bagi nasihat yang tak membina nie. dah le aku tgh sakit.. tak leh gerak sana sini..tak tido.. tak makan .. ! ikhhss ter'emo pulak!

well,antaranyer..the one in red is one of them. but i always tell myself do the blue words below..

Your life: Handling unwanted advice
When you have a baby, everyone in the world seems to have an opinion to share: "Shouldn't she be wearing a sweater?" "She won't grow big and strong if you don't feed her solids now." "If you let her suck on a pacifier, she'll ruin her teeth!" Whether the advice is right or wrong, it's the sheer intrusiveness of it all that can irk you.How to deal with it? First, don't take everything you hear seriously. There's no quicker way to undermine your growing confidence than to listen to every shred of information you're offered by friends, relatives, and strangers. Do what you think is best.Realize the advice is mostly well intentioned. People are drawn to babies. Sometimes they make "helpful" comments simply to have something to say. In response, say something noncommittal, like "Thanks for your concern" or "I'll think about that." A great way to handle grandparents who have their own ideas about feeding or sleep is to enlist a third party: "Thanks, Mom. I'll see what our doctor says."

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